I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
