its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
