Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
