ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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