areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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