I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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