I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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