is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
