I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
