i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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