y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
