I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
