Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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