Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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