You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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