Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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