well most of my day revolves around power hour
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
