i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
