He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize