I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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