Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
