how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
