Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
