We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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