Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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