he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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