i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you win again, gameday.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
