Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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