Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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