i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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