i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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