guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
