I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
