i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
