I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
