just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
