you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
