I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
