you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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