i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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