i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
