Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
