a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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