Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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