Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
