I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
