Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
