literally had 100 drinks last night.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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