i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
