I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
