my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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