doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
