is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
