i need an iv and a liver transplant
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
