Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
