It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
