Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize