I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
