I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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