you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
